Most people try to teach their children, at a very early age, about fairness. For example, in the eyes of a 2 year old, it's just not FAIR that I can't have that toy truck at the check out counter at Wal-Mart. As a 10 year old, it's not FAIR that I can't stay up til 9:00 like all of my friends! As parents trying to teach their children about fairness from a biblical standpoint, many examples of fairness can be found in the Bible. The Golden Rule is a supreme reminder to always "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We have always repeated this mantra to our children, on a daily basis. Yet it's hard to explain to them the reality that quite often, in reality, life isn't fair. And worse still, we don't know why. Many situations in life spin us into a fury of WHY, WHY, WHY??!! Why did my puppy run away? Why did my Grandpa have to die? Why do some children not have enough to eat? WHY? As adults, we are looked upon to know these answers, but often we don't. So lately, our mantra has been: Life ISN'T fair sometimes. Sometimes in big ways but more often in small ways. Take sports, for example. Many folks just don't get why others make such a big deal out of sports. It's just a game, after all! But it's more than just a game. Your child is putting himself or herself out there, in a position of vulnerability, to display their best, to win. Doesn't matter the sport. Your child has practiced their heart out, cried their heart out in frustration, prayed their heart out in earnest appeal, and sometimes it seems to be all for naught. It's easy when they're young and on a team where everyone gets a turn, no matter what. It's only fair, right?! But as they age, slowly the mediocre players are weeded out and only the "good" remain. And this is where the problem begins. As soon as someone else is the decider of how "good" we are, we become different. Gone are the days of playing with reckless abandon and love of the game. Now it becomes a question of: are you good enough today to play on this team? I can only imagine what that does to a child's tender psyche. After all, up to this point, they've been told how wonderful a player they are and given trophies at the end of each season to tangibly show their worth. Far too soon in a child's life, reality sets in. It's not all about how hard you try, how "good" you are. It's about whether or not your older brother/sister played or where your mom and dad work or go to church. It's not about ability or desire, instead it's about who you are. I grew up in a town where this was the law. If you weren't from our town, you stood little chance of making the team, much less spending any time actually playing. If you attended the "right" church or lived in the right neighborhood, your chances for seeing playing time increased. I can only imagine the anguish experienced by these young folks through the years as they were swept aside in their desires to simply be a part--it's not fair. It stings in my memory, but it burns a part of my soul when it happens to my children. I don't think there is any greater heartache than seeing your own child's heart break. I cannot stand silently by while injustice is being done. What does that teach my children about fairness? So while my children, and zillions of other children, may not be the Michael Jordan of this new century, they are worthy of being given a chance. Do not worry about who their grandparents are or what political party they support. Coaches, do your JOB and teach them, in an ethical manner, about playing the sport. Teach them respect (as you, by your actions, should deserve it), teach them humilitly, and most importantly, show them by example that fairness DOES still exist in this world. Do NOT curse at them, relentlessly embarass them, or otherwise make them feel worthless. Mold them into better players, better PEOPLE, by showing them how to improve on their weaknesses. After all, we've entrusted our most precious possessions to you for your guidance. Don't let us down. Don't let them down. We've only got this one chance, at this one time in life, to do things right. I simply ask, treat each one as if they were your own, and always, always be fair.

Teenagehood Hits Home

My (itty-bitty, sweet baby) boy turned 13 last week! He would be mortified to read the (parenthesis) part about him, but it's true! Seems like just yesterday I was waddling around in the July heat 'bout ready to bust at any moment! Then right lickity-split we were sending him off to Kindergarten, and now this! AHH! The first few years went by kinda slloowwlly. But since the birth of his brother in 2003, Rylan's birthdays seem to come around weekly! I scarcely even remember the theme of birthdays number 7, 8 and 9 since there was another itty-bitty baby in the house to take care of, but I know we celebrated cause I have pictures to prove it! But turning 13 is a milestone, very monumental. He is now a TEENAGER and has all of the privileges (??) that come with it. What he doesn't seem to realize is that now he can't act like a 12 year old anymore. For example, no more fighting with his brother. A teenager would NEVER fight with a little 7 year old, would they?! I dareso, no. (So far Rylan has not embraced this new law. I expect it to kick in at any minute, though.) I guess the strangest thing about turning 13 is that suddenly he no longer even looks like a scrawny kid. He used to be a stick figure. Now muscles are when bony structures used to be, and he cannot seem to get full. He tries and he tries to no avail. I think he finally just gets tired of chewing and gives up. This is the "eats you out of house and home" phase I've been trying to pretend wouldn't come to MY house. Anyways, no matter how much he eats or how big his foot gets (size 10 already!!), he is now and will always be my baby boy! (Sorry, Rylan, if you ever read this!) We love you very much and can't wait to see what the next 13 years bring!!

Release and Remember

Sunday, May 16 found us in Clinton for Hospice of Laurens County's Butterfly Release Ceremony held at Thornwell. Our family attended in remembrance of Harry, a.k.a. Grandpa. It has been almost a year since his loss and this ceremony was a bittersweet reminder of that very painful time last summer. But beauty can be found even in trying times, as seen here in this picture of Landon and his butterfly. God reminds us of the beauty and brevity of life with His creation of the butterfly. They must journey through three phases of being before they mature into the final, beautiful stage of butterflyness. But it is in this final, most glorious phase that the end comes very quickly--4 weeks. In this short time many travel 1,000 miles in search of that perfect flower or leaf on which to land. Such is our journey as human beings. We phase from infancy to childhood to adulthood and then seem to spend the rest of our lives searching for our place to land. It is only through God's grace that we, His beautiful creations, find His will for our lives and the contentment and peace that comes with that achievement. Thank you, God, for the beauty of the butterfly and for the work of Hospice. And thank you, too, for the beautiful life of Harry League.

Landon turns 7, again and again and again

Three times is the charm!! Landon's month-long birthday celebration has finally come to an end! (Whew!) I didn't want to celebrate my b-day this year even ONE time this year, but Landon enjoyed celebrating his Three times! The first was a party at Fatz on his actual b-day. Mom's side of the family came and enjoyed the food and b-day cake. Then it was Dad's side of the family's turn: Lunch at Nana and Papa's, complete with cousins and great-grandmother and great-aunt in attendance (including very fav cuz Liz!) Finally, just today, Feb. 27, we had Landon's "friend" party with 3 of his buds from school. It was, of course, a military-themed gala complete with an army "fort," lots of pretend guns, a scavenger hunt, lunch, cake/ice-cream, and presents! What a great day! The sun even decided to come out and play with us today! Your baby only turns 7 once (or three times!) so we've got to make the most of it! Happy birthday, my sweet Landon!

Hello 2010!

How do we shortcut our new year? I guess it's: 1-2-10, though it seems a little odd. There are many oddities occurring in January of 2010, including my 40th birthday! How did this happen? Just yesterday I was turning 16 or 24 or even 33, right?! Not wanting to miss out on anything expected of me, I guess I am having a little mid-life crisis. Nothing too major or unusual, I hope. Mine is more of a time of reflection, like the way you feel on New Year's Day compounded by 100! The main question: What have I been doing for the last say, 20 years, of my life?!?!?! Specifically, what have I contributed to the greater good of mankind?? Certainly not any professional achievements. I think that does kinda bug me. But I chose, with a thankful heart, to stay home with my babies and I am so grateful to have been able to do so. Do my children appreciate the sacrifice? Doubtful. Could I probably live in a bigger house and drive a cooler car and take really awesome vacation?? Probably. And yes, a little part of me would LOVE to have that life. But I must remain centered and know that, in this life, we are to concern ourselves with possessions of the heart, not material possessions. We are to strive for God's attributes, not Bill Gates'. It's a constant battle of will, however. Perhaps this will be my #1 New Year's resolution, strive for God's blessings instead of more STUFF!

Other resolutions: BE MORE POSITIVE! I'm sure this is on many a NYR list, along with lose weight and get more organized (which are also on my list!) However, I know that being positive goes a looooooooong way towards making for a peaceful home and peaceful life. May God grant each member of my family with a positive attitude in 2010!

I know we are each gifted from God. Some gifts are evident very early in life. Others' gifts are slow to be realized (I would be in this category.) May God open my eyes to His plans for me in this new year (a little bossy, aren't I?!?)

Hello 2010!

Girl Gripes

There are things that, as a girl, I am expected to understand. Simply by my DNA I am genetically predispositioned to like certain "girl things" as part of our "sisterhood sorority." And I realize I am putting myself in a somewhat precarious situation by admitting that many of these "things" I just don't "get!" As badly as I want to be a member of that prestigious group, I am bewildered by some of the secret, unspoken girly codes of conduct. For example, I do NOT understand the "thing" with Target. I've tried and TRIED to understand "it" but to no avail! I go to Target occasionally and the only thing that separates, in my mind, Target from say, Wal-Mart, is that Target has hot fresh popcorn for sale as you walk in the door. No popcorn offered at our Wal-Mart. However, hot fresh popcorn is no reason, in my rational mind, to drive clear to Greenville or Anderson to find the closest Target! I hear people say "but Target has such good prices ..." Um, to me Wal-Mart has the same type of clothes for LESS. And REAL bargain hunters know that the best deals are found at other stores, such as Ross and T.J. Maxx anyway!

Moving on, something else I don't understand: a certain, unnamed beach located in South Carolina. OK, life is good at the beach WHATEVER beach you happen to be visiting. However, there is a reputation a certain beach has earned as "the beach." I have never been to this particular beach and therefore really cannot offer an educated opinion; however, I have heard much about this "beach to beat all beaches" and I cannot, for the life of me, understand the fascination with it. Let me explain: this beach is out there, kind of by itself, with very little in the way of restaurants, entertainment or shopping. Now, when vacationing, there are a few things that I like to rid myself of, firstly COOKING. Why would I exile myself to some beach with NO RESTAURANTS so that I have to cook every meal DURING MY VACATION?! Pure ridiculous to me! Secondly, shopping in my hometown of Greenwood, SC is a complete exercise in futility, so anytime I am out of the county limits I look for places to shop! Shopping is a sport that requires constant practice; thus, to stay aptly fit, shopping often is a must! Any beach worth its salt will offer, at least in small amounts, the opportunity to dine out, shop a little, and SOMEWHERE to take the kids to do/see SOMETHING the day(s) that it rains while on vacation!

Lastly, Rainbow sandals are not comfortable. Everybody and their grandma own a pair and wear them until the first hard frost but read my lips: THEY ARE NOT ALL THAT!